The Dark Lord's Revenge
by Sisyphus
Summary: Voldemort has a little fun at Snape's expense. HBP Spoilers!


**Disclaimer:** JKR owns the Harry Potter world - I just like to play around in it.

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"Severus, I need you to do double duty this time", said Voldemort, with a sinister blend of cheerfulness and spite.

"Of course, My Lord", replied Snape, a feeling of foreboding spreading throughout his body.

"Along with your regular duties, I will need you to take on a very important role in the upcoming production." Snape stared as the Dark Lord said these words, stunned. Did this mean what he thought it meant? Could it possibly be finally happening?

If it wouldn't have appeared unseemly, Snape would have rubbed his hands gleefully together. At last! At long last! He would finally get a role in one of Voldemort's latest home theatrical productions. So many plays have come and gone – and never a part for poor Severus. This must be the reward for finishing off Dumbledore for him; The Dark Lord was pleased after all – it had been so hard to tell how he took the news last night. Snape thought he might be angry that he stepped in for Draco; he knew he would never guess it was on Dumbledore's orders. Then, leaving the Potter brat behind. At least the Dark Lord didn't suspect him of trying to save Potter again – only perhaps suspecting him of saving Draco.

Besides, the Dark Lord couldn't refuse him now; Lucius is in jail, after all, and McNair is out sick due to the attack on him by that rampaging Crumpelhorned Snorkack. Honestly – who even knew they really existed? So – there was nothing for it, apparently – he would _have_ to be given a part. No more sitting in the back, watching the fiasco from the make-up booth. No more silent rolling of eyes as Wormtail flubbed another line. Finally a role of his very own! Nothing too fancy, mind – just something to sink the old teeth into. He'll show them what a true dramatic performance looked like. None of this flapping arms and bellowing lines nonsense. Bold yet subtle, low and intense – that was the way to do it. Really, being a double spy . . . wasn't that daily proof of his talent at 'improv'? Seriously, this will as easy as brewing a simple Swelling Solution! One of his greatest dreams has come true at last . . .

Snape had to work hard to hide the giddy feelings from spreading out over his mind and face. It would never do to show the Dark Lord too much pleasure in any duty that wasn't entirely villainous. _His_ favorite pleasure was taking others' pleasure away. Thank heavens for Occlumency!

Voldemort continued, "Yes, I don't think we can do it properly without you . . . I've tried cutting the part out – but it's not right – it really is a pivotal role." Snape inclined his head to show acceptance. If only he could jump in the air with abandon! But it really wasn't worth a round of 'Crucio' . . .

"What is the role, My Lord?" asked Snape, keen to keep the hunger out of his voice.

"You're very lucky to get the part, you know. I was going to give it to Wormtail – but he's necessary as the damsel in distress. I, of course, will be the leading man, and Bellatrix here will play the lamppost. A role she's quite suited to, as it appears." Voldemort let out a sinister low chuckle. Bellatrix tried unsuccessfully to hide her embarrassment and fear, and smiled as if gracious for any small part. As if! Snape knew she loved emoting in front of an audience – any sized audience would do. Snape couldn't help himself, he allowed his lip to curl in an amused sneer. Well, so much for the 'Bella' of the ball! She was always so overly dramatic anyway. 'Vamping' was the word that flitted across his mind during many a performance of hers. Snape could now barely contain his excitement. What was the role? What was the role?

"You will be playing the most sinister and frightening character in the play," continued Voldemort, "In fact, it's such a scary part – I almost took it on myself – who better to play such concentrated evil . . . but I can't be spared from the leading role. You must therefore take it on." Snape was starting to get worried – the Dark Lord was beginning to sound . . . amused.

"You will play . . . " Voldemort paused for dramatic effect. He was nothing if not dramatic, ". . .the Duck".

"The Duck?" asked Snape, nonplussed.

"Yes!" said Voldemort with a flourish, as though he had just given Snape the world's greatest gift imaginable.

"How very . . ." Snape started, but couldn't continue. Bellatrix had a grin on her face that was growing wider and wider. Wormtail was starting to giggle. ". . . kind of you," finished Snape, lamely. He felt as if he'd just eaten a bucketful of flobberworms. Was it permissible to vomit upon the Dark Lord's shoes, without suffering the gravest of punishments, he wondered? Then again, maybe playing 'The Duck' _was_ the gravest of punishments. Bellatrix and Wormtail scooted quickly out of the room – no doubt to spread the news as quickly as possible to the other Death Eaters about Snape's newest role. Snape might just find a way to add a few ingredients to the make-up mixture this time. Some doxy droppings ought to do nicely for a little . . . gastric discomfort . . . for his fellow thespians. He sighed inwardly. He ought to have known it was too good to be true.

"And my lines?" asked Snape, in as offhand a manner as he was capable of.

"Oh, just the one line" replied Voldemort, eyes glinting maliciously.

"Just one?" asked Snape, now definitely resigned to his fate, which the Dark Lord sealed with one word:

"Quack!"


End file.
